Weekly Thoughts #3: Disability and What it Means to me

I never considered myself disabled for a large part of my life. I wasn’t trying to negate from the fact that society considers me disabled. It just wasn’t something that was at the forefront of my mind all the time – at least, before I started blogging. The reality is, I am a neurodivergent individual who doesn’t quite fit the mold of much of my peer group. I find it far more beneficial to think about my abilities rather than focus on my ‘disabilities’ – such as the fact that I am fluent in Japanese. That isn’t to ignore the fact that autism is considered a disability; in the eyes of the law, wider society and the medical world. I’m sure as many of you know, there is a lot of debate within the autistic community, as to whether autism should really be considered a disability or not. I think what is important is that we don’t view ‘disability’ as a dirty word, while at the same time not thinking of one’s disability (including being labeled as such) as ‘disabling’.

I am 28 years old now and having long accepted the fact that autism is just a part of me that I have always lived with, it doesn’t even register in my mind anymore that certain things might be in relation to me being autistic. Nor is it something I feel negatively affects me on a profound level anymore. Everything I do is in relation to me being autistic – it’s impossible to try and separate them out. It is who I am – every autistic person has their own traits, no 2 individuals being identical in these traits.

Words have an impact on our lives whether we want them to or not. What is vital is how we interpret and respond to those words – that is the deal breaker. It’s easy to embody what others say about us. In my case, there is no room for interpretation about such words. I am classed as disabled and yet I came to realize I had lots of strengths that should be focussed on. My mother always told me that I was never a follower type, and I like to think of that as being true. I don’t follow mainstream trends for the sake of it and I don’t bow to peer pressure in most instances – I never have, from the earliest of ages.  So, I chose to view my disability in a different light. It is integral to me, and yes, by definition, it is a disability. So rather, I took on a new interpretation of what autism meant to me.

Growing up was hard though, my childhood wasn’t the happiest of times – I struggled to fit in with my peer group. I knew I was different, I had difficulty interpreting the world and how others interacted with me. I had almost no friends because no-one had the same interests as me but still I felt compelled to tread my own path and not mold myself to be what others expected me to be.

Fast forward to now, I’ve finished my undergraduate degree, lived in 7 countries, travelled to over 30 countries and territories (mainly solo), and I am now establishing  my own blog and website to encourage and inspire other neurodiverse individuals to see more of the world, I also want to use these mediums as an opportunity to raise awareness of the autistic spectrum in general and to encourage travel companies to explore how they might attract and support neurodivergent individuals to travel confidently.

I’m truly proud of who I am, what I have been able to endure, and what future I can possibly craft for myself. The world doesn’t make life easy for people like me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let the masses have all the fun. Everyone deserves to live life fully within their capabilities and that’s exactly what I intend to do!

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